The Lists of The One You’re Searching For

Okay, okay in this post it will not be my original idea, but I decided to do it anyway because my friends are curious and asking that I share it. I think it is a good thing for all you singles out there! Hehehehe. 😉

So my good friends, Al.Ali and H.K.,  handed me a book one day in which to my surprise entitled “HOW TO FIND YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE BOOK 2”, and then continues “The Complete Course Manual on How To Attract, Choose and Marry the Partner of Your Dreams” written by Bo Sanchez (an incredible speaker and life coach). I was like “WOAA!! Do I need this?” Well I accepted it anyway because they were giving it to me for free!

There are many sections in this book, but the one that I will share and will apply to most of you is this section:


So let’s get into deep. B)

In looking for “The One”, there are four lists that you must consider. The four lists are:

1. The Non-Negotiable List
2. Must-Have List
3. Must-Not-Have List
4. Wish List
Let’s start with The Non-Negotiable List. These are the list that are non negotiable. Cannot be compromised and between life and death!
1. He must take responsibility for his life.
2. He must be free from serious addictions.
3. He must be emotionally healthy. Emotionally healthy meaning that:

  1. He knows and acknowledge his weakness.
  2. He has the capacity for loving someone else other than himself.

4.  He must earn enough to start a family.
5. He must be morally upright.
6. He must be spiritually committed.
7. He must love his own family.

If your girlfriend or boyfriend violate even one in any of those rules, break up now! Even the reason like “BUT I LOVE HIM/HER”, cannot be taken into account!

The Must-Have List. This list is very personal and can differ for each person, and they can be compromised even if you put a “MUST”, unlike the Non-Negotiable List. Here you can list of personal characters or traits of someone. So here is just an example of a Must-Have List invented by moi:

  1. He must be smarter than me.
  2. He must be hard working.
  3. Wise
  4. A good debater.
  5. A good leader.
  6. Compassion
  7. Disciplined
  8. Playful and youthful
  9. etc etc until 10.

The Must-Have-Not List. You are going to live with this person from getting up and sleeping again. What can’t you stand of? What are the negative traits that you don’t like? This is just an example of my list:

  1. I cannot be with a sensitive person!
  2. If he likes to curse and use bad language.
  3. If he is racist.
  4. Dirty.
  5. etc etc until 10!

The Wish List. This are the list that are nice to have but not so important and it seems like a bonus. Here are just an example of my wish list:

  1. Funny
  2. A good cook
  3. A good singer
  4. etc etc until 10

So there you have it, all the list that you need to know in finding the One! Hehehehe. 😉

Thank you again Al.Ali and H.K. for the book, much appreciated!



Questioning About The One

My friend, V.A.S, and I had a discussion about Marriage and stuff. Don’t get us wrong, it is not because we want to get married fast, but because many of our closest friends were married last year. We were thinking like this: “How do you know if she or he is the One?” That will be a long discussion that I might post in the future, but the question that I will try to answer is this: “How do you find The One?”

Here are the perspectives that we will consider:

1. My mother believes that God had planned everything from the start. Everything including The One.

2. My friend, H.K., believes that God never predestined us about anything including The One, so it is up to us to choose who we want to marry.

My opinion? It leads me to 3 conclusions:

1. God is all powerful and all willing, He could choose our soulmate, just like God appointed Gomer to be Hosea’s wife. If God can do it in the past, so He can do it in the present and future. We just need to discern and hear God’s voice.

2. Humans have free will. Humans can choose whoever they want to marry. So you have the ability to decide.

3. Other people (not us) pick for us to whom we shall marry. Like arrange marriage.

At the end, either 1 ,2  or 3 whoever is walking down the aisle with you, is because the both of you choose to do so.

So what do you think? Comments and responses are highly encouraged.

That One Thing …

Everyone knows the used to be beloved couple Prince Charles and Lady Diana. In their life time of marriage they were blessed with two kids, but even so they end up in divorce. Charles never actually loves Diana, he cheated Diana just to be with Camilla. The question that pops to mind is: What is wrong with Diana, Charles?

Diana is very very beautiful, she is younger than Camilla, she is a good mother and a good princess. It seems that nothing wrong with her. But why can she never took his heart? What makes Camilla more attractive to Charles?

My friends like to jokingly tease me with some guys. Even though they say good stuff about them, and I have to admit they were great and nothing is wrong with them, it just that they were missing out that One Thing.

My friend V.A.S said to me about that One Thing,”You never knew what that person is looking for.” I knew she meant to be the One Thing that each person is looking for in a mate that she or he finds attractive.

And I believe sometimes love never could grow. Even you already married to that person and have 3 kids, still you could say,”I never love my husband.” I know someone like that.

I watched “How I Met Your Mother”, there’s an episode where Ted Mosby encounter a groom that left his own wedding before tying the knot. The groom’s reason was simple : The bride is a not “quite”. The groom then said that every person has someone that is “destined to be”.

Isn’t it pretty sad that you got married to someone that you never really love or you thought you love that person, and one day someone just come to you and he or she got that One Thing that you have been searching for?

Audrey Hepburn, one of the most beautiful women I have seen, got cheated by her husband to a woman that is less good looking than her. Why did her husband do that? Isn’t she pretty enough? Yet there is something that is more than the eye.

I also believe that you could marry the wrong person regardless in what country, culture, or religion you are, even though that does not mean you have to file for divorce once you figure it out that you marry the wrong person.

I, before, did not know what I was looking for, but the thing is, you have to be open and make friends with many people.  Try to figure out what makes you attracted to someone.

Believe me that One Thing is nothing to do with appearance, it is something about character and personality. It is not about because you admire that person but there is something about that person that you feel comfortable, familiar, and can relate to.

And once you know it, you got it, you and that person will click right away.

So what do you think? Comment and response are highly encouraged!