I.Must.Resist : Envying

Things that I Must Resist:

  1. I must resist envying other people

Well basically that is the only one thing that I must resist.

Envying on other people’s life means not being grateful to oneself. It is hard to do, it is hard not envying on others. I envy on people who I feel “better” than me.  Well maybe it is hard to explain what “better” means.

The thing is:

I don’t envy people who are smarter than me.

I don’t envy people who are prettier than me.

I don’t envy people who are richer than me.

But I envy on the people WHO GOT IT ALL or the people who does not got it all but in a POSITION THAT I WANT.

People who got it all are the people who are born with good looks, a sharp brain, and born in a wealthy family. They are so lucky. They can achieve all 3 things that are better than me.

But I should not envy on them (well I will try), because:

1. Good looks

Good looks are relative and it is God given. I cannot blame people who have good looks.

2. Sharp brain

It is also God given. I know those people make an effort to succeed in their life. So it is both God given and man’s works.

3. Wealth

We cannot choose where we are born, and I must always remember that it is their parent who are rich, not them.

Okay, once again I must say that I still envy those people, because those people have better opportunity than most people. They are more likely go to the top schools, well I think that the thing that I am envying is that those people can have better life than most average people. THE “I WANT TO BE IN THEIR POSITION” type of envy. The “If I Could Be Like Them, My Life Would Be So Much Wonderful” type of envy. Maybe it is because I see it as an unfairness. It is unfair that some people could HAVE IT ALL. Why does those people could have it all? Why are they born so lucky?

And if I see myself, would people think I am also lucky? Would there be people who also envying on me? I don’t know. I think it is human nature that we want the best for our life. We want to have a perfect life. That we simply want the best for ourselves. That we see others as competition.




My friend, M.Jek, asked me 2 questions about the term “Beautiful People”, here are her questions:

1. What do you think when you hear “Beautiful People”? In deep reflection, what is the meaning of “Beautiful People”?

2. Do you think you are beautiful?

So I answered her with answers in which I think are satisfying enough. But today, I am not going to talk about my answers to her questions( I might post about “Beautiful People” and my answers in a different post in the future). This made me think about self image. Yes, self image!

Many people including me have something in our mind about our own self image. There are always two things that we consider about our image:

1. How people perceived us.

2. How we perceived ourselves.

I know many people are dealing with this issue. We look at the mirror and not happy of what we see. And we like to stigmatize ourselves for not being “pretty” enough or not “beautiful” enough. There are two attentions regarding self-image:

1. Our face appearance.

2. Our body shape.

Probably many of you are not happy because one or two body parts in your face or in your body. I have to tell you, that you are not alone! So many people suffer from this because the one or two body parts that they do not like. In our life time there are probably many of us who have to deal with friends or family members who do not like how we appear. They tease us, ridicule us, mock us, for the body parts that God given us. I have to say I was one of those people who have to struggle to accept myself and love myself because all those negative things people throw at me. Worse of all, those people who mock me are my family members.

These were the body parts that they said were not “Good Enough”:

1. My eyes. They called my eyes too slanty or too small.

2. My nose. They said that my nose is not pointy enough or does not have a high bridge.

3. My eyebrows. They said my eyebrows were too thin.

4. My teeth. They said that my teeth is protruded.

5. My jaw. They said that my jaw is also protruded.

6. My skin color. They said that my skin color is too dark.

7. My weight. They said that I’m too fat.

And the list goes on and on. And I have to live with that mockery when I was still living with my family. It is hard to really alter the concept of ourselves if we grew in that kind of stigmata. But I change my perspectives and start to accept myself beautifully and lovingly. How do I do that?

1. Do a makeover. A change in ourselves can be nice, but you cannot do it extremely, just one at a time.

2. Be friends with people who accept you and love you as who you are. Be with positive people! You can choose your friends, be with good friends who supports you.

3. Forgive those people because they do not know what they are doing or saying. 😉

People usually make fun of us because they are not happy of themselves. They are in pain. So people, please do not make fun of others regarding physique!

For the people who like to disregard others because of physique, I want you to reflect in the things that you are not happy of.  Try to answer this question:

1. What makes you angry and feel in pain?

2. What do people done to you to make you mock others?

Find the answers, and then, try to make a change and love yourselves even more! (Hey, I might post something in the future about “Pain”)

There’s a video about Objective Beauty and Perceived Beauty:

The summary of the video is this:

There are two types of beauty: Objective Beauty and Perceived Beauty.

1. Objective Beauty is what you see in the catwalk and in the magazines.

2. Perceived Beauty is a full package. It is about from the head to the toe, from the smile, from the way you act, from the way you talk, from the way you think. Perceived beauty is appearance + personality!

So do not let others think you are not beautiful! You are beautiful!  God never created a failure, that is why you are beautiful! 😉

So what do you think? Share your stories! Comment and response are highly encouraged!

One last thing, I would like to thank my friends, Al.Ali and H.K. , as much as you do not know, the two of you really help me to change my perspectives and love myself more. Thank you. :*

Questioning About The One

My friend, V.A.S, and I had a discussion about Marriage and stuff. Don’t get us wrong, it is not because we want to get married fast, but because many of our closest friends were married last year. We were thinking like this: “How do you know if she or he is the One?” That will be a long discussion that I might post in the future, but the question that I will try to answer is this: “How do you find The One?”

Here are the perspectives that we will consider:

1. My mother believes that God had planned everything from the start. Everything including The One.

2. My friend, H.K., believes that God never predestined us about anything including The One, so it is up to us to choose who we want to marry.

My opinion? It leads me to 3 conclusions:

1. God is all powerful and all willing, He could choose our soulmate, just like God appointed Gomer to be Hosea’s wife. If God can do it in the past, so He can do it in the present and future. We just need to discern and hear God’s voice.

2. Humans have free will. Humans can choose whoever they want to marry. So you have the ability to decide.

3. Other people (not us) pick for us to whom we shall marry. Like arrange marriage.

At the end, either 1 ,2  or 3 whoever is walking down the aisle with you, is because the both of you choose to do so.

So what do you think? Comments and responses are highly encouraged.

Happiness, A Choice?

They say happiness is a choice. I have to agree and disagree on this one.

Yes, I agree,

Happiness is a choice when you’re normal. I mean, when you are emotionally healthy.

And, I don’t agree that happiness is a choice. Because, sometimes :

Happiness is not even an option.

So you even could not choose it.

This happens when you are emotionally unhealthy, like when you are depressed. In that case happiness is not even an option.

So what do you think? Comments and responses are highly encouraged!