I have never been this normal in my life.
Yes, you heard it! I will say it again, I have never been this normal in my life.
Even though I got the flu and sick, but I have never been this normal in my life.
My normality comes back last Sunday, when I finally acknowledge my weakness and vulnerability to others. I was usually too ashamed to admit about my weaknesses and too prideful that I don’t want people to look down at me.
I feel that I have wasted my 2 years wondering in a chaotic atmosphere. I was homesick, depressed, and did not know what to do and what I wanted. In my whole life I have never been in the lower wheel. It took me sometime to get through it. Throwing away that negative emotion and that negative feeling.
I have never been such a failure in my whole academic life. My academic life is pretty much my life. I used to be the top star, but now I feel like I am an imposter in and out, that nothing that I can brag or present to others and be prideful about it. Literally nothing.
I know that I have become stronger. But does it really need that 2 years of time? The 2 years I feel that had gone. I wish I could go back to my freshman year with the emotion and attitude that I have now. I wish.
Now, I have to believe that God will give me a bright future when I know myself that my 2 years have wasted. In all things, I need to trust in HIM.
M.Suge
socialingua 