Admiration or Compatibility? part 1

Okay, here’s the deal. When people asked me what type of guy I like, I usually can’t answer it. I just think hard but really I don’t know what  the exact type of guy I like.

I would be like: “yeah a nice guy, a smart guy, a religious guy, someone who don’t go to clubs, drink beers and stuff.”

And I thought I was attracted to those guys who achieve many things in their life. I would be like: “They are just so cool. I wish I could be with that person. ”

I don’t really know much about guys, even though I have 2 brothers. But they don’t really represent reality. Much more on that, I went to an all girls high school, and before that I don’t hang out with guys, I played with girls all the time.

I remember myself in February 2009, here’s what happen:

I just turned 17 at that time, I was in class, it was class time, and the teacher was not there. So the teacher just gave us assignment to work on. My friends and I were working on the assignment when an unexpected conversation happen at that time. We were talking about guys. My friends were talking about the guys that they liked. I don’t put much interest on their conversation, I was one of those kids who care less about dating, relationship and stuffs. So I just told my friends like this:

“I never really like someone in my entire life.”

Well, that’s not completely true, but having a crush on Hollywood actors does not count.  And they were like:

“You are weird!! How could you never like someone in your life??? You are 17!!!”

“You are weird!!!”


And I think it’s completely normal. (Or isn’t?) And in my mind I was like:

What kind of guy who would make me fall in love?? Hahahahaha. I just could not imagine that.

After that, one of my friends was trying to get me up to meet someone. But at that time I was busy with school and was still scared of guys. So it never happened.

It did not stop there, on Summer 2009:

My SAT teacher asked us this question for the girls in the classroom:

“Do you need guys to take care of you?”

All the girls said “Yes.”

I was the only one who said “No.”

I was astonished myself. Mmm…. I am not weird right?

And there’s a funny story about my high school life:

Every time I was invited to a birthday party, one of my attention was to see guys. Even though I don’t really approach them. I just see them from very far far away while I am munching foods with my other friends who happen do not know any guys. I made a stupid wish that time. And the wish was this:

I wish I could meet a guy. Then we fall in love. And then we dated. etc etc

It was a stupid wish that I never reveal to anyone. I never really remembered that wish once the birthday party invitations stopped.

And now … the year 2013, just 4 years later, I regret of what I have said in the past. I’ll tell you more about this on the next part.

-First Part Finish-



4 thoughts on “Admiration or Compatibility? part 1

  1. you’re so cute when you said: i regret my wish, which was i wish could meet a guy, fell in love etc.

    you know what, i think you’ll be a lovely person when you enter to a real relationship. anyway, if you’re in the game yet, why do you say game is over? never say never, girly girl 🙂
    fall in love is one of wonderful gifts. you’ll understand, i know you will.

  2. Pingback: That Exact Personality & That Exact List | socialingua

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